From disagreement to alternatives

Hello Product Leaders!

J. is one of the best product leaders I ever hired. He has a sharp mind, flawless execution, always sees the bigger picture, and is detail-oriented.

You know the the one that you know you can always count on.

But managing him wasn’t always easy.

He often challenged me on why we decided on a certain path and wouldn’t let go until he got a solid answer that made sense to him.

On one hand — that’s what a good product leader does - ensuring we are going in the right direction.

On the other hand —  nothing I said made a difference. Too many times I reverted to asking him to ‘disagree and commit’ famously coined by Jeff Bezos.

So how do we move on from those disagreements to solutions?

I call this framework ‘agree on alternatives’

Let’s dive into it.

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Disagree and Commit Paradox

The "Disagree and Commit" principle can be tricky because it encourages people to speak up if they disagree, but it can also result in some people not fully supporting a decision even if they say they do.

This means that they might not put in their best effort to make it successful in the end.

So using it a few times is okay, overuse it and it becomes a dictatorship!

But the first thing is disagreements are healthy.

Disagreements Are Healthy

• It's cool when someone doesn't see eye-to-eye with you. Teamwork's about bringing different perspectives.
  
  But here's the thing: address those disagreements as soon as they pop up.
  

  Me and J., for example, we'd admit when we didn't see things the same. But we got stuck there.
  
  Disagreements ain't the end of the world, though. They're a chance to shake things up and find new solutions.

  
  To move past the "we don't agree" stage, I've got the classic go-to move: I ask "Why?"
  
  It's like the golden question of product management, and it works wonders with anyone…usually.
  
  But sometimes, it doesn’t…

Agree to Alternatives

• So, with J., the whole "Why?" thing wasn't cutting it.
  
  He'd keep giving me these vague answers that didn't get us anywhere.

  
  But then I had a lightbulb moment: whenever we hit a wall with his "no," I'd throw the ball back in his court and ask for alternatives.

  
  And let me tell you, it worked wonders for us:

  First off, talking about a specific alternative was way easier - it’s like having a common enemy. It got us out of theory land and into practical solutions.

  
  Sometimes, I'd even find a solution in his suggestions that I hadn't thought of myself. Other times, it helped me figure out exactly what was bugging me about his ideas.

  
  Plus, it forced us to see things from a different angle.
  
  Saying "no" is easy, but coming up with a real solution? That's a whole different ball game.

  
  And the best part? It brought us back together as a team. We were working toward the same goal, hand in hand.
  

  Let me tell ya, it was a game-changer having my strongest teammate back in the game. And funnily enough, it made it easier for me to let J. take the lead in the direction he believed in.

Don’t wait, Lead the Alternative Discussion

• Gotta be honest here, I was pretty determined to make this relationship work. Not every boss would go to these lengths to do so (you know, the old "disagree and commit" thing).
  
  Sure, your boss might not be as open-minded, but honestly, it shouldn't matter.

  
  You're a product leader, after all. You don't need to (shouldn’t) wait for them to show you the way.
  

  So, when you think your manager or CEO's heading down the wrong path, don't just tell them "no." That won't get you far.
  

  Try to see things from their perspective.
  
  What are they trying to achieve? Could there be stuff they're worried about that you haven't even considered?
  
  ✅ So how to do it?
  

  • Once you've got that figured out, come up with alternatives that addresses everyone's concerns.

  
  Trust me, I've seen it time and again: people are way more willing to change course if they see a solution that makes sense and ticks some of their boxes. It doesn't have to be their first idea, either.
  

  • And here's a pro tip: don't wait around for them to ask for a better idea. They might not even realize that's what's missing.
    

  • Oh, and when someone on your team is giving you a hard "no", flip the script and ask them to come up with a suggestion. Works like a charm to get things moving, whether it's for you or your customers.

Remember, even the best need a little help sometimes.

Key Takeaways

In Case You Missed Them

👉️ Break that class ceiling (Link)
👉️ Dealing with Non-Agile Stakeholders (Link)
👉️ Strategy is a choice (Link)

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