How to Lead Effectively When You Aren’t in Position

Hello Product Folks!

First, I just wanted to share that I’m currently hiring a few AI Product managers and AI/ML engineers across different regions. More info…check it out

Now, let’s get to it.

When I was a Product Lead at my previous company, we once had a unique offsite leadership training involving a team-building exercise with kayaks.

Sounds odd, right? But it was fascinating.

We had to navigate a river together, figuring out how to coordinate and steer the kayaks as a group. There are many ways to guide a team—some of us took the lead by paddling at the front, others coordinated from the middle, and some provided support from the back, ensuring everyone stayed on course.

This exercise was about discovering different leadership styles. Each of us found the way that suited us best. It showed that there's no single right way to lead—everyone has their own style.

This lesson applies to more than just kayaking. At work, you can’t always tell people what to do. Often, it feels like they’re trying to tell you what to do.

So, what do you do?

Can you still lead if you can’t give orders? Absolutely.

Let’s dive in…

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Leading without authority

Just like with the kayak, where I had no formal authority, you can lead without power.

You can lead even if others, including your boss or the CEO, think they’re in charge.

You can lead with customers too, even when you want to meet their demands.

I’ve done this myself and coached many others throughout my coaching program. Developing this skill and mindset is crucial for success as a product leader.

Here are some tools to help you lead without authority:

1- Remember It’s Not an Order

A CEO once told me how lonely the job is because there are things they can’t share and decisions they must make alone. Interestingly, he mentioned that whenever he says something, people take it as an order, even if it wasn’t meant that way.

When your CEO says, “Let’s do X,” “We need to do X,” or “X seems like a good idea,” it’s easy to think they’re giving an order.

But often, they’re just sharing thoughts or ideas.

This CEO wished people understood that not everything he said was a directive. Otherwise, he felt he couldn't freely brainstorm because everything he said was taken as a decision.

Another CEO stopped joining discussions because his presence made the team stop thinking and just wait for his commands.

It’s natural to assume the CEO wants you to do what they suggest. Sometimes they do, but often they step in because no one else is leading the discussion.

Whenever someone tells you what to do, pause and consider if it’s really an order. It could just be a recommendation, an idea, or a thought. By questioning what they mean, you break the habit of treating everything as a command.

Keep leading, even without formal authority. It’s a powerful skill that sets you apart as a product manager.

2- Embrace Ideas Like Opportunities

In product management, and especially in leadership roles, everyone has ideas. They might even believe they know better than you what needs to be done.

But just because they think that doesn't mean you have to agree. That's obvious.

The tricky part is working with their ideas and avoiding a black-or-white mindset. By black and white, I mean the tendency to think that if someone has a different opinion, you should avoid them or limit your decisions to areas you control completely.

It's natural to want to deal with influential people who constantly tell you what to do by avoiding them. But this approach weakens your leadership and doesn’t benefit the company.

As a product leader, your job is to connect all the dots.

If someone's idea doesn't fit into your plan, it probably means you need to adjust your plan, as there’s something you missed.