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- How to Say ‘No’ Like a Pro
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How to Say ‘No’ Like a Pro
Hello Product Leaders!
My kids often come to me with ideas or requests, needing my support—whether it’s time, effort, or soon money 😀 .
Honestly, many of these are things I’d rather not deal with. But they’re persistent.
So, I have to explain why I can’t or won’t agree. “Because I said so” is always my last resort, and it usually frustrates everyone.
What works better is walking through the details with them—explaining the effort, cost, or downsides. Often, they figure out on their own why it’s not the best idea. Sometimes, they don’t love my answer but understand. And occasionally, they even change my mind.
When they do, it’s because they’ve addressed all my concerns. So instead of a hard yes or no, we come up with a solution that works for everyone.
As product leaders, we do this constantly. We have to say no (A lot), but it’s about balancing our principles and keeping strong relationships.
Saying no to your boss, like the CEO, adds another challenge. They need to set direction—that’s part of their job.
Here’s how I’ve learned to navigate these conversations, even when you disagree.
Let’s dive in.
Today at a glance
My Favorite Finds
👉️ Watch + learn how to work with Claude to make an app in this short <2 min video from Allie K. Miller
👉️ With Brainnote, speak your rumbling thoughts and turn them into clear ideas!
👉️ Save hours per week in PRD creation with a Free PDR Generator (beta)
👉️ AnythingLLM provides a private, flexible platform for users to interact with various chatbots and process multiple document types on your device!
👉️ SoBrief summarizes books into 10-minute reads with audio versions available in 40 languages.
👉️ Basejump allows you to chat with your database and access data insights quickly without needing to write complex queries. Great for PMs!
ICYMI
1- Work Toward a Yes
Strangely enough, the best "no" comes after you’ve genuinely worked to say "yes." It might seem odd at first, but there’s a good reason behind it.
Think about it from your boss’s perspective. They’ve got an idea they believe in, even if it’s based more on intuition than facts. They pass it along to you with some level of certainty.
Now, if you respond with a flat-out "no," what’s your boss likely to think? Either you didn’t fully grasp the idea, or you’re not interested in following their direction.
Both assumptions could paint you as unwilling or unable, which isn’t how you want to be seen.
Instead, when you put effort into understanding and exploring their idea, you show you’re on the same team.
This approach gives you a better chance to discuss why the idea might not work while maintaining trust and collaboration.
So, aiming for "yes" involves a few key steps:
Start by listening carefully.
Understand what your boss wants to accomplish and the problem they’re addressing.
Discuss whether it’s the right problem to solve.
Pinpoint your disagreements—is it about the problem itself, the solution, or just the timing?
Be clear in your response. If you’re not saying “no,” but rather “yes, but not right now,” communicate that.
Offer a solution that both satisfies their needs and works for you.
Put yourself in their shoes again. Wouldn’t this approach make you feel more supported and understood? It shows you're trying to help, not just pushing back for the sake of it.
If you're ready to adopt this approach, here are a few more skills you'll need to do it effectively.
2- Trust Your Judgment
Sometimes, in your effort to stick to your principles and not just agree with your boss, you might end up constantly on the defensive.
You may find yourself shutting down new ideas—even in the early discussion phase—because you don’t believe they’re the right move. I’m guilty of this.
If you’re saying "no" a lot or hearing that you need a more positive, can-do attitude, this could be the reason.
When I coach product managers, they often tell me that they don’t outright say “no.” Instead, they lay out the pros and cons and say it’s a tough call.
To move beyond the “it’s complicated” mindset, you need to trust yourself.
Remember, you can always say "no" later. Right now, it’s just a discussion. There’s no pressure to decide immediately.
Give yourself the space to explore options without feeling like you’re giving up control.
Trust that by bringing value to the conversation, others will value your perspective.
And they may respect it even more when they see you’ve genuinely considered their ideas first.
3- Practice Deep Listening
Radical listening is all about understanding why the other person believes they’re right, at least from their perspective.
To do this effectively, you need to let go of any judgment or internal debate that usually happens as you listen.
When we hear someone speak, we tend to immediately think about whether we agree or not, or start planning our response.
Turn all of that off.
Instead, focus completely on listening.
Ask questions to clarify their point and try to see things from their side.
Look for reasons why their idea makes sense or feels reasonable. Your goal is to understand why they think they’re right.